A Point of Truth

Unforgotten

In the midst of my daily agonies— 
The ups and downs,
The growing pains of being
21, single, jobless
(despite alcohol, curves, a quarter-million degree)— 
I am grateful for the familiarity of home.

Fortunately, I have a mother
(repetitive with her worrying but unconditionally loving),
Two brothers 
(infuriatingly immature but siblings all the same),
And an entire Yggdrasil of extended family
(alternating useless and useful but comfortingly there). 

If having a family makes me soft
—perhaps still too soft for this city—
Or keeps me miles away from the jaded hearts
That populate this city,
Then okay.

I’d take them over overweight, not-hungry Girls;
Man-boys with twin beds post-college;
People who text and don’t call
(or don’t text at all).

When I come home upset, my mother’s food is there.
When a man dies, his family gathers together.
These are promises I can count on.
Things that we family people will not forget.

My uncle, healthy and young, died on Sunday from an unexpected heart attack. He was a kind, warm man. His daughter starts high school tomorrow. This is for her.

Remembering Who I Was

When you dance, you must fall
Just a little bit
In love
With your partner.

Love me.
I’ll love you too

Confession

When I told you I wouldn’t wait,
I meant it. Even when I slept,
Dreaming of you, stayed up
Late, thinking of you, I
Knew it wouldn’t last.

I want you as badly as
I want you to leave
Me alone. 

Please. Choose.
Touch. Contact.
Or go. 

“If I Could Tell You”

Time will say nothing but I told you so, 
Time only knows the price we have to pay; 
If I could tell you I would let you know. 

If we should weep when clowns put on their show, 
If we should stumble when musicians play, 
Time will say nothing but I told you so. 

There are no fortunes to be told, although, 
Because I love you more than I can say, 
If I could tell you I would let you know. 

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow, 
There must be reasons why the leaves decay; 
Time will say nothing but I told you so. 

Perhaps the roses really want to grow, 
The vision seriously intends to stay; 
If I could tell you I would let you know. 

Suppose all the lions get up and go, 
And all the brooks and soldiers run away; 
Will Time say nothing but I told you so? 
If I could tell you I would let you know.

- W. H. Auden

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

- Langston Hughes

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

- Robert Frost

Love Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

- Pablo Neruda